I just had an amazing night. I thought as a coach, I was the lucky one who gets to ask inspiring questions. But, tonight I got asked a question in a way and by a person I totally didn’t expect.
Tonight I led a masterclass for 16 executives and managers at a very cool co-working space, Kofisi, here in Nairobi. The topic was my current favorite, adaptive leadership. I was fortunate to have very engaged participants, a lovely space, amazing food, and two hours of great learning in both directions.
Fast forward. We’re at the end, I’m letting the silence rest for a few beats longer than is comfortable as people consider their final questions. At the back of the room, a woman who had been helping with the food and drinks for the evening raised her hand. Straightening her apron, she calmly asked “When is it appropriate for leaders to be vulnerable?” I had to sit down for that one, no joke. She was the 17th participant in our masterclass, a confident young woman who leaned in. By the way, she was also a potent representative image on a day in Kenya marked by the strength of young people standing up, questioning authority, and protesting for what they believe in.
Back in the workshop, my answer might have been passable, roughly, “When a leader needs to build relationships that are vital to their success, a moment of vulnerability can let people in. At the same time, it’s not always safe to be vulnerable. People have to pick their moment and know they are psychologically safe enough to open up. Culture is a key ingredient in safety. For example, the culture leaders create on a team, in a company, in a country.” I tried to honor her curiosity.
But, what I’m left with in the dark at the end of a full day is the power of an honest question, well timed, and well delivered.
I only have one tattoo (so far). On my arm it reads “Questioning is freedom”. It was inspired by a dear friend’s family’s Passover Haggadah and an age-old way of teaching children to exercise their freedom by asking questions of their elders. As I build a business based largely on asking questions, I’m inspired by the freedom of the young woman in the back of my workshop. I want to ask questions as honestly and openly as she did tonight.
